November 2009
1 post
JAMJAMJAM
Listen, you’re a boring person. That’s why people keep passing you by, or choosing your friends because they’re more interesting than you are.
You’re not pretty enough, white enough, funny enough, mature enough, agressive enough. You’re never enough.
But let me tell you this. One day, one person will come along who will change all that.
He’ll stay by your...
October 2009
1 post
GOODBYE
To what we once were.
HELLO
To what we can never go back to.
and HELLOGOODBYE
To where we’ll be a million pixels from now.
September 2009
4 posts
To have him peel the sticker that sealed the envelope,
To have him peel the sticker that said ‘between you and me’,
It felt like he was keeping you a secret.
It felt like it was happening.
“She is the weakness you think of as strength,
while I am the strength you have...”
– D. Levithan’s Realm of Possiblity
“I’d like to meet someone I love, but am not in love with.”
I have no idea how he knows when I need him. We can go weeks without speaking, and then, when my blue moods threaten to turn black, he will show up and tell me my moods are
azure
indigo
cerulean
cobalt
periwinkle
and suddenly, the blue will not seem so dark, more like the color of a noon-bright sky.
He brings the sun.
(taken from D. Levithan’s ‘Realm of...
June 2009
12 posts
A chance meeting of sorts
Girl: Listen, I li--
Boy: No. Stop. Don't say it.
Boy: It's just--I don't want to be in the position wherein all I have left to say is "Me too". So let me say it.
Boy: I love you.
I remembered this a while ago and just had to share it like someone who did so with me. I forgot who told me though.
"You don't always have to smile."
She didn’t say it.
As all quiet little fragile things go, she sat there and smiled.
He didn’t mind at all.
As all gloriously unfathomable illusions go, he stood there and made the world laugh.
She laughed along.
He smiled for a moment.
That’s how it went.
A chaotically happy relationship based on laughter and half-hearted promises.
A relationship based on a joke.
She...
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It...”
– Neil Gaiman (via indiansummmer) (via creampuff) (via damnwarningcontentsunderpressure)
“Someday when I’m married, I’m pretty sure I’ll forget the...”
Suspended Animation
Today was the best day of my life.
And though I now that that is an understatement, let me say it anyway.
After tonight, I felt perfect.
Awesome.
Content.
Happy.
They were all so sincere.
So genuine.
I’ve tried to think of a time when I felt as happy—and I’m sure there are at least more than what happened tonight.
And so, when I got home, I decided to write it all down.
...
I found this in one of my folders.
What’s a meantime girl?
She’s the one you call when you’re bored.
She’s the one you talk to when you’re feeling down because she’s willing to lend an ear and be a friend.
She’s not the one you call when you need a date to your Christmas party, or to go out with on a Saturday night [or your prom night].
She’s the one you spend time with in-between...
A stolen kiss
“It’s an old story, and there are no new words. But there is no place for me in your world, and I do not expect you to try to find one. I don’t ask anything from you at all.”
He kept his hold on her hand.
“But what if there is something I want to give?”
She whispered.
He smiled again. “I am wise enough to make sure you keep it to yourself.”
A...
If I stay
“Just listen,”
He says with a voice that sounds like shrapnel.
I open my eyes wide now. I sit up as much as I can. And I listen.
“Stay.”
“There’s no word for for what happened to you, no good side to it even. But there is something to live for. All I can think about is how fucked up it would be for your life to end here, now. And I’m not dumb enough to...
May 2009
16 posts
All because of love
There are things that you don’t want to think of, but you can’t even forget it.
Things that you don’t want to continue, but you are afraid to end.
It’s just like you don’t want to expect anything, but you’re still willing to wait.
All because of love.
I am not that kind of girl.
How could you even think I was?
We need to talk.
Last night, wide awake in bed, I asked God for one thing: to stop granting me the undeniably unfathomable and deliriously heavenly pleasure of being infatuated with anyone.
I told Him that it’d save me from disappointment.
I told Him that it’d save everything I cared about.
Then I fell asleep.
And awoke to a dream.
Do you know that black billboard along C-5 that says in huge,...
“It’s got nothing to do with how pretty or how ugly you are, you idiot....”
– Kuya Raymond
Note to self:
I found my dream boy.
But he’s already in love with his dream girl.
Dream your dreams away
I think my life is composed of knowing what I want.
And knowing that there are greater forces that can take it away.
Then I move on to knowing what I need.
And knowing that I alone have the power to attain them.
Beauty
I refuse to believe that anyone is ugly.
I don’t believe that liking someone comprises of thinking that the person they like is beautiful.
No one is ugly.
We’re all beautiful.
It just so happens that liking someone comes down to a person’s preference.
How they perceive beauty to be.
“I think we’re insecure about the things we know we’re good at;...”
“I keep forgetting that I can’t fall in love with you.”
Between
Between is a place of sanctuary.
And we who reside there are safe.
Unharmed.
Protected.
And scared.
We are between those hard places.
Between people.
Between grades.
Between deciding and delaying.
And we live in the safety of knowing we are just in between everything.
Between staying and leaving.
Between friendship and love.
Between sorrow and joy.
We never fully...
From autograph book question to tumblr post
Sometimes, I wonder what love really is.
I think about all those fairy tales; the epitome of an innocent and young kind of love. The kind that believes in happily-ever-afters.
Then I think about those romantic movies; the type that makes you want to have the cinema boyfriend who unfailingly woos you inside and out.
That’s the kind of love we all want.
But not all of us are lucky enough...
Still mad at you.
Jyan: How can you love me when you're already attached?
Ryan: I can break up with her if you want.
Jyan: Really? You'd do that?
Ryan: Yeah.
Jyan: But what about her?
Ryan: She can go run to someone else for all I care.
Jyan: Are you sure?
Ryan: Yes.
Jyan: Entirely?
Ryan: Yeah. Are you?
Jyan: Well, now that you mention it, no.
Ryan: What? Why?
Jyan: There's someone else.
Ryan: Who?
Jyan: Your girlfriend.
: ))))))))) Just so you know, Jyan's a girl.
I'm still mad at you, though. : |
Sea breeze
The sweat running down our backs.
The cool but salty air whipping by our face.
The soft churning of the sand beneath our feet.
The steady pace of your steps.
The blaring club music in the distance.
The infinite starless sky above us.
It all didn’t seem to matter to me.
Not when you had your arm around me.
Not when, even for three seconds, I felt like you loved me.
All along and we've never known.
There had been so many things she wanted to say to him.
I need you.
I miss you.
I love you.
They were shallow, obvious; trivial musings snipped away from timeless fairy tales. They were the products of the spur of a moment; the feeling of elation that one just had to share, to say.
But awrkwardness got in the way.
Problem was, besides being synonymous to fairy tales, they were also...
April 2009
19 posts
“When you’re young, everything feels like the end of the world. It’s...”
– Zac Efron via Mike O’Donnell (17 Again)
Can you keep it?
I had a realization.
I finally accepted that you COULD actually be handsome in my eyes.
I have a secret.
I think I like you.
But I don’t want you or anyone to know.
Not until it’s too late.
Surreal
Little girl: I don't wanna go back to school yet. I don't wanna get old.
Boy: If I could, I'd stop time for--
It sounded like the biggest and sweetest cliche ever.
Inflation
When my dad was young, one square meter of land cost ten pesos.
Now, it’s over 15 000.
When my grandma was a little girl, jeepney fare was only ten cents.
Now, it’s seven pesos.
A kilo of fresh fish only amounted to twenty pesos.
Now, let’s just say it fluctuates from time to time.
One liter of gasoline never went up to more than sixteen pesos.
And now, well,...
Who are you?
Last night, I stayed awake ‘til 3 am.
Thinking.
Wishing.
Hoping.
Dreaming.
Then I fell asleep.
And today, right at this moment, I realized.
You are no one to make me lose precious hours of sleep.
The Garden of Eden
I dreamed about this beautiful garden.
And it’s quite lame to say that I cannot properly describe it in words. (for the future, let me apologize for lacking grace in my writing. for all I know, it’s going down the drain.)
The count of the fruit-bearing trees was a little over a hundred, with colorful stigmas and the like.
It smelled wonderful, the aromas.
Sweet.
Sour.
...
Your Eyes.
Dom: It starts with the eyes. She's got to have those eyes that can see past all the bullshit. Got to see the goodness. 20% angel, 80% devil. Down to earth. Shouldn't be afraid to get a little engine grease under her fingernails.
Girl: That doesn't sound anything like me.
Dom: It ain't.
I found this in my soulmate's mind.
All I wanted was for someone to look at me the way I looked at you.
With unjudgmental eyes.
With understanding thoughts.
With genuine love.
Someone who looked at me and saw who I essentially am, not the image I might portray.
I just want someone to love me the way I loved you.
I thought maybe you felt the same way I did. That you saw me exactly the way I saw you.
But after learning what I...
“Here’s what I think. We can’t go around measuring our goodness by...”
– Hugh O’Conor aka Pere Henri (Chocolat)
Between a risky truth or a safe and silent misery.
I’m not sure if it’s been obvious that I have been busying myself with movies.
I wasn’t so young when I watched Little Manhattan, that story about first love and how it didn’t work out. You could say, though, that I wasn’t old enough to understand much yet.
Especially when it came to the part about why the boy’s parents were going through the rocks with their...
“It starts with the eyes. It’s gotta see past all the bullshit. It’s...”
– Vin Diesel aka Dom Toretto (Fast and Furious 4)
“What about you? What if you’re the one lying to yourself? Maybe...”
– Jordana Brewster aka Mia Toretto (Fast and Furious 4)
We say summer. I say childhood dilemma.
They said summer was a time for love.
I say it’s a time to enjoy your freedom, which is pretty much the antonym of being in love.
But today, the first thing I did after coming from outside was to go to my room to look in the mirror.
Of course, I saw a girl. Long, black wavy hair. Light pink tank top. Pink cotton shorts. Indigo flip flops.
I was a mess.
And, I think, I wore too much pink...
“There are only four questions of value in life. What is sacred? Of what is the...”
– Johnny Depp (Don Juan DeMarco)